THERE was a recent change in the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. The former policy was this. Homosexuals could serve in the armed services, if they did not tell anyone that they were homos. And no officials would ask if they were. It was an official sustained state of ignorance. If such a “preference” became known, then the pervert could be dealt with, by being discharged.
Congress passed a law, or repealed a law, and now these people may serve while openly admitting their inclinations. However, the new policy is to take a time---I believe that it is 60 days---to be implemented, gradually. “Gradually?” Imagine this for a moment.
Private Tom is a homo. He wants to admit it, but knows that the policy is only gradually being relaxed. So he can “expose” himself only gradually. So the first week, he combs his hair in a more becoming way, and changes his underwear to something more exciting. The next week he stops drinking beer and drinks whiskey-sours. When he shakes hands with another man, he holds it for a bit longer than is necessary. The next week he puts up a revealing poster of Brad Pitt. Then he openly looks at shoe catalogues, and clips sales coupons. Then he buys earrings in pairs. Then he redecorates his bunk, by putting stuffed animals upon it. And so on. Ultimately, no one has to ask, as it has become obvious, gradually.
Of course this is meant to be humorous. However I ask this: how can a policy of this kind be gradually implemented? Are we moving first to a “Don’t ask, but imply” policy? Or is it to be: “Don’t ask, but you can guess, and I shall tell you if you are right, dear”? How about: “Don’t ask, but allude”? Or “Don’t ask, but draw your own conclusions”?
I still wonder how the gradual nature of implementation is possible. But now it is a “don’t ask, for no one can tell how” policy.
If you wish to tell others, then read "Analysis and Explanations."